Something just became clear to me. My family has a habit of reminding me we have the means to achieve anything. I can take literally any opportunity to pursue any dream I have and not have to worry about how we will pay for it.
So I grew up knowing that I could seek any future. And for some reason I understood that “any future” was a code word for “the right future.” Knowing that I could have anything, I then began to pursue the grandest things I could think of. I could be an actress. I could live in London, or anywhere, and go to school. I could be a writer. I could study feminist theory and change the world.
But what about the other things I could do?
I could be domestic. Raise a kid. Or a dog. Or a kid and a dog.
I could be not domestic and write freely about what I want to and not have to worry about jobs and payments and things. I could explore.
The deeper I get into my senior year the more I realize that the grand door may not be the right door for me after all.